‘How to pee’ for women

While I was riding out this morning, I suddenly realized how great it is to be able to train with leg wamers. And not with long winter pants. With leg warmers, it’s easy to pee while you’re on the road.

Yes, us women do pee while out training. That is THE answer to the most asked question by men. Second question on the list is always: how do you do it? The race waits for no one and especially not for women taking time to get undressed and pee on the side of the road. Unless there’s a train passing, which doesn’t happen all that often though.

How we do it? I only learnt how to “quick-pee” last summer. Unfortunately this vital piece of information came too late for our book Vrouw&Fiets, otherwise it would have most certainly been in it. This piece of knowledge also comes in useful if you are not a professional cyclist, because when you are just riding your bike you don’t want to get partially undressed either. That’s why I’d like to dedicate this blog to the technique of the “quick-pee”.

(To all male readers, stop here, if you prefer to think that women are creatures without kidneys or bowels and only enter the toilet to clean. The information in this blog is not at all interesting for you anyways, unless you feel like sharing it with the women around you which would be great. Anyways, you have been warned.)

Ladies, to explain this technique in words is somewhat difficult so I resorted to drawing it.

1. Pull one of the trouser legs up as far as possible.

2. Hold it from the inside with two hands: one at the front and put your other hand behind your back and grab the bib shorts from that position. Now pull the trouser leg as far as you can towards the opposite leg. The position of the hands is crucial in this respect. If you don’t follow the instructions correctly you’ll end up with wet hands. If you do it correctly, there’s an opening big enough to pee through.

3. Squat and pee.

The great thing about this technique is that it’s not only fast but decent too as there’s hardly any exposed flesh. If there is a passer-by he or she won’t see any nude body parts, let alone intimate nude body parts. And if you are a racing woman it’s fast enough to hop back on the bike and find your way back to the peloton before the last team car has passed.

If you were wondering why I wanted to share this information with you in these times of harsh weather? In times when, if you were actually considering riding outside, you most certainly won’t do it with leg warmers? Well, posting it now gives you time to safely practice the technique on the toilet before Spring arrives. Glad I could help!

Translation: Procycling News / Tour de José

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