‘How to pee’ for women

While I was riding out this morning, I suddenly realized how great it is to be able to train with leg wamers. And not with long winter pants. With leg warmers, it’s easy to pee while you’re on the road.

Yes, us women do pee while out training. That is THE answer to the most asked question by men. Second question on the list is always: how do you do it? The race waits for no one and especially not for women taking time to get undressed and pee on the side of the road. Unless there’s a train passing, which doesn’t happen all that often though.

How we do it? I only learnt how to “quick-pee” last summer. Unfortunately this vital piece of information came too late for our book Vrouw&Fiets, otherwise it would have most certainly been in it. This piece of knowledge also comes in useful if you are not a professional cyclist, because when you are just riding your bike you don’t want to get partially undressed either. That’s why I’d like to dedicate this blog to the technique of the “quick-pee”.

(To all male readers, stop here, if you prefer to think that women are creatures without kidneys or bowels and only enter the toilet to clean. The information in this blog is not at all interesting for you anyways, unless you feel like sharing it with the women around you which would be great. Anyways, you have been warned.)

Ladies, to explain this technique in words is somewhat difficult so I resorted to drawing it.

1. Pull one of the trouser legs up as far as possible.

2. Hold it from the inside with two hands: one at the front and put your other hand behind your back and grab the bib shorts from that position. Now pull the trouser leg as far as you can towards the opposite leg. The position of the hands is crucial in this respect. If you don’t follow the instructions correctly you’ll end up with wet hands. If you do it correctly, there’s an opening big enough to pee through.

3. Squat and pee.

The great thing about this technique is that it’s not only fast but decent too as there’s hardly any exposed flesh. If there is a passer-by he or she won’t see any nude body parts, let alone intimate nude body parts. And if you are a racing woman it’s fast enough to hop back on the bike and find your way back to the peloton before the last team car has passed.

If you were wondering why I wanted to share this information with you in these times of harsh weather? In times when, if you were actually considering riding outside, you most certainly won’t do it with leg warmers? Well, posting it now gives you time to safely practice the technique on the toilet before Spring arrives. Glad I could help!

Translation: Procycling News / Tour de José

» Helen said (9 Feb, 2012) :

Brilliant! Good timing with winter trees immodestly lacking in foliage. Really innovative thinking, great drawing, and looking forward to trying that out. Next ride I may be wearing washing up gloves in case!

» Sarah said (9 Feb, 2012) :

I love it! That drawing made me giggle out loud, in public – now to try the public urination!

» Larry T. said (9 Mar, 2012) :

GRAZIE! We posted a link on our blog to share this tip as women often take one look at the bib-shorts in our custom kit and say NO WAY! Now they can know the secret, thanks to you. Heather, as an ex bike racer knew this technique of course but wasn’t super keen on sharing it – now you’ve done this and made it simple! Thanks again.

» Amaya said (12 Mar, 2012) :

I’ll give this a try, because I’m fed up with exposing my bum to strangers in foreign countries. Gives a bad impression of tourists.

» Jennyvelo said (10 May, 2012) :

Alternatively you could use bib shorts made by Gore that have a zip around the waiste of the bibs and unzips for easy removal (does not fully unzip) of the bottom half. Pearl Izumi do ones that you can pull the back part down as well. I’m just not certain the tightness of some of my bin legs would allow such room for peeing. Although I will try it next time I’m not wearing such woman friendly bib shorts 🙂

» michelle bakker said (6 Jan, 2014) :

im gonna share it on our site http://www.kaandiscounter.nl because i like this article very much ! keep on going!

» Kellygirl59 said (31 Jan, 2016) :

Sometimes a ladies room isn’t available so It’s good to know how and where to pee outside.
I look for a place out of view that has flowers or small plants I can squat over and pee on. Peeing on the flowers or plants takes care of the splatter. NEVER pee on hard surfaces like cement. I have used a stairway a few times for a place to pee. Squat so you pee on the step below the one your feet are on. This works great at keeping your feet dry.
Out in the woods I look for a creek to pee in. Peeing in the water also takes care of the splatter and you don’t have to worry about where your pee is going to go.
Something to wipe with is a must for this girl. I keep a pocket pack of tissue in my purse and jacket pocket just for the times I have to pee outside.

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